There is more to the world than where you are now
I moved to Berlin on 13 July 2014. I remember the date so well because it was the day Germany played Argentina in the final of the World Cup. Mario Götze’s goal in the second half of the extra time made the score 1–0 and Germany won the World Cup. People were out on the streets celebrating, drinking, and singing all together. It was like a carnival atmosphere and fireworks painted the sky all night long. It was as if the city was welcoming me. I remember distinctly feeling in the right place that night. I lived in London for more than 10 years before moving to Berlin and never felt that sort of belonging. I loved living in London too but there was an emotional connection with Berlin instantly. For some reason, it reminded me the Istanbul when I was little. Some people might not agree with this but it felt like that for me. The little things help us make connections with the places we go to. Sometimes it is the trees, sometimes it is the smell or the way the yellow lights from the street lamps fall on the road in the evening. It is funny how we instinctively connect new experiences with our past emotions. We build on them and create more experiences. It is like putting another stone to build the path to walk on.
I lived as an expat for the last 20 years. I moved several times. It is so exciting, the new beginnings, the unknown, the challenge. It can become addictive too. You start looking at the map and finding yourself planning your next move without realizing it. It adds a lot to you, you become a person who can adapt quickly. Figuring out the bureaucracy, dealing with the paperwork in a language you can not speak yet, finding a flat, finding a job, and getting into the system can be very complicated. It takes time but you feel an immense sense of achievement in the end. The best thing I learned from living and working in different countries is it makes you open-minded (unless you are someone who insists on your old ways and habits but then again you won’t last long if you resist). It teaches you to be a less judgemental person. Being more open to others also makes us more open to ourselves. It makes you more self-aware and less stressed. It helps you to see different versions of yourself. Our minds become more flexible because it challenges our set ways of doing and seeing things. Being exposed to different languages and cultures makes you more creative.
People sometimes ask me if Berlin is better than London or if English people have a better sense of humour than Germans. Or the list can be longer, ‘the list of comparisons’. I can’t make solid decisions when asked questions like that. It is impossible. I learned wherever you go there are great places but also not so great places or there are nice people and some rubbish ones too. One place can be better at something but suck at the other and vice versa. These are all experiences we individually come across. Every experience is unique and different from each other. How we perceive and experience has everything to do with how live our lives, our personalities, how we see the world and our relationship with the universe. Making general comments based on cliches can damage the experience. Wouldn’t that be a waste of our energy after what we have achieved by packing and leaving our comfort zones? I think it would. That is why I try not to fall into that trap when a friend asks me how it feels to live in Berlin. For me, it feels fabulous. Living in London was wonderful too. No need to say Istanbul has a special place in my heart. And there were and are times when they all drive me nuts. It is all part of the package.
Ok, why am I babbling on about all these? This article needs an ending so I better get on with it! My son will be 16 years old this April and he can already speak three languages and has lived in three countries. I don’t have any worries when I think about him and his future. I know wherever he goes he will be fine. I am not writing this to boast of my son. I wish I had the experiences he had when I was his age. But it is never too late. Go and travel people. Live in different places. It doesn’t have to be some exotic island on the other side of the world, just go and experience how is life in your neighbouring country. Encourage yourself, and your children to discover the world. Don’t just stick to where you grew up. Go out there and check out what’s happening in the big wide world. Discover different cultures, new experiences, and all kinds of perspectives.
I would like to leave you with a quote from Dr Seuss. I can’t imagine a better book than this fitting this situation. At the end of his wonderful book ‘Oh, The Places You’ll Go’ he writes:
‘So…
Be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
Or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea,
You’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!’